as simple as it gets..

i cared, you cared.
i listened, you listened.
i laughed, you laughed.
i loved, you left.

to all those who think i'm a whore..

(this blog does not exist)

if you only knew.

you seem pretty decent.
i have a lot of respect for you.
i appreciate what you showed me.
plain and simple? annoying.
you're promiscuous actions are shaped by your lack of confidence.
our connection scared me a little.
i love you.
regardless of the game, it was worth it.
you make people feel sorry for you and it's pathetic.
i don't like you.
don't often find someone so down-to-earth; kudos.
you're a little lost when it comes to women.
attractive, yet too full on.
definitely a catch.
it's a little disappointing you were brainwashed into negativity.
you know how to get people to let you in and you use that to your advantage too much.
novelty.
i'm slightly intimidated by you.
we've known each other for years, but we don't even know each other.
i've heard some things, but never seen it first hand.
i liked you before you got caught in the wrong crowd.
friends.
if we spoke now, i'd vote for mates.
i still don't know your last name.
little be hott.
not suprising, yet very random.
consequence of alcohol.
absolute champion.
i was a fool not to take advantage of the situation.
whether you were ever a good one or not, you're not now.
legend.
devil in disguse.
in the real world? no go.
way too confident.
just because you got crushed once, doesn't mean you can take it out on the entire female population nor does it justify the lies.
glad it ended.
you're charm is captivating.
inexperienced.
novelty.
without you now, i think i'd be different.
are you even real?
less than classy moment.
you make me sick.
i was crazy about you, yet ruined it because i never felt good enough.
not for me.
wrong on so many levels.
if i believed in any sort of "destined" thing, this would be it.
cool.
must have slipped out of reality.
fuck. off.
you said you were "the one", but really you're just "that one".
young.
unpleasant.
if i was ever to be blamed for being shallow, this would be a good arguement for it.
novelty.
gay.
was just a matter of time my friend.
wrong.
wasn't at all special.
i know believe they were all just lies.
yuck and a half.
hott and fucking fabulous.
the guilt will never, ever subside.
intriguing.
you'll always be a goody in my eyes.
novelty that had a lot of potential.

bad luck.

ever gotten to a point in your not-so-average day and thought, can i have anymore bad luck? we all have those days at some point, but what brings them on? what makes bad luck occur?
some people believe in superstition. you know, walking under a ladder, killing a spider in the morning, putting new shoes on the table, breaking a mirror and opening an unmbrella inside are all meant to bring the bad luck omen. these little acts have so much power to make someone feel better. you see, if someone had a terrible night, that consisted of finding out their friends actually thought they were a slut and incompetent, or falling down the stairs in the backyard, or losing their favourite necklace, a superstition could easily justify this. if this unfortunate person had say, put their brand new shoes on the table earlier that day, they could then think, "that explains my bad night." this justification can help a person accept the problem and move on. without thinking twice about the possibility of a real issue - denial.
some people who don't put it down to superstitions, point the finger at karma. these people strongly believe that, what goes around comes around. so for example, if you cheated on your ex-boyfriend, and your bad luck was that your new boyfriend cheated on you, people would be able to yet again justify this action by saying, yep. karma's a bitch. but, what if you can't find something to justify your karma? what if there is a situation where you can't possibly think of what you did to deserve experience this unfortunate event? you know, where you are sitting alone and for almost the first time since you ended, your previous partner happens to walk past. all happy with his lover. the lover he had before you, during you, and obviously, now after you. what does the inability to justify the siutation, leave you with? having to face the real problem for the first time? maybe bad luck is just an excuse people use to avoid dealing with something in more depth. it could just be another defense mechanism.
on the other hand, maybe bad luck is just something based purely on interpretation. maybe bad luck is nothing but a pessimistic attitude to a person's own life. think back to any bad luck you have had, and ask yourself, is there any chance it can be interpretated in a positive way? if you think about it long and hard, there is bound to be even a hint of a silver lining. in a way, back luck is similiar to constructive criticsim. it's appears to be negative right then and there, but it's actually something positive for the future.
it's probably hard to see at first, but maybe bad luck doesn't have to be a bad thing. maybe bad luck, can bring something good.

friends.

remember the primary school days when you thought the friends you had then, would be the only friends you would ever have? and the enemies you had, would hate you forever? funny how once you hit high school, you also get hit with the reality that the world is full of more people than you think. normally, a friend can be described as a companion, another person you share interests with or (according to sources) a person who is attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. however, there are so many different kinds of friends one can have, a dictionary definition of the word barely applies anymore.
in high school, many people have the same system of classification, in regards to who their friends are.
firstly, most people have a best friend, or more commonly known as a BFF. you know, that one "main" friend who knows all the secrets and who would never betray you.
secondly, they have that circle of friends, commonly known as "the girls" or "the boys". these are the ones who you sit with at lunch, or party with on the weekends. they know a fair few of your secrets and the latest on who you are dating.
thirdly, there are the individual friends. those being the ones who you sit with in class, and go hang out with when your circle gets annoying.
fourthly, there are the acquaintances. those being the people you're not really friends with, but who you say hey to three or four times a day.
finally, there are those "other friends" that you aren't really a fan of, but talk to anyway.
these catergories are rarely declared, however they do exist. they exist right until the morning after graduation. it is at this moment, the fences between the different types of friends one has and the fences between the stereotyped groups seem to magically apparate (like harry potter characters), thus the meddling of everyone begins.
whether it takes six days or six months, you're friends from highschool will only be your friends for as long as you keep them in your life. of course it's hard when people move away for work, or uni, or to travel. but if you want that best friend to be the one you turn to once you've cheated on your husband of five years, then you have to push through and make it happen.
you wouldn't think it would be that hard to keep in touch with people, especially with the many ways of communication. calling. texting. email. myspace. twitter. facebook. you could even go vintage-style and write you're old goon-buddy a letter! either way, if two people want to keep a connection, they will.
some people however still struggle to keep certain friends in their lives. their excuse of "being busy", is quite pathetic really, and it is generally code for "since-i-don't-have-english,-maths-and-art-with-you-i-realise-you're-not-that-interesting". being on the receiving end of this situation, (that is, thinking you had a good connection with someone but then realising they never want to catch up) can be hard to adjust to as you are used to seeing them everyday. but really, if they don't want to be you're friend, clearly you deserve better than that. realistically, you can't go forcing something that is destined to end and if this happens to be the case, go mingle with new crowds when you hit the clubs. go on randoming adding sprees on facebook. and even with the friendship-group fences gone, (where the highschool rules don't apply) go be friends with that girl who hooked up with your acquaintances boyfriend if you want to. it shouldn't matter who you are friends with, as long as they make you happy.
high school traps people into believing your friends are based on, or can determine, your status. the real world teaches people that personal status means nothing compared to happiness. humans are social beings. so whether it be old friends, new friends, life-long friends or just temporary friends, we all need them. so just make it happen.

actions speak louder than words.

"actions speak louder than words." cliché? yes. true? more than ever before.

the most important feelings cannot be explained by words. it's possible that back in the day, they could have been. but the australian-english language is already disintegrating into cyber abbreviations that the true meaning of most words has seemed to vanish. ily, btw, atm, l8er, wot, wtf, omg, brb, lol, gtg and ttyl are just to name a few. when it all started, i agree it was "cool" and to be honest, a lot quicker to type/text, but it's actually sad that it has now become apart of our everyday face-to-face conversations. instead of hearing, i love you! between two friends, it's ily. instead of making that little chuckle (you know the one where you think it's funny, but just can't be bothered laughing properly) we now hear, lol. it's as if all the youth of today are apart of a secret service that has ordered us to talk in code, so we can merely confused each other and lower our intelligence levels. it has always been hard to understand people when they try and express their feelings. but now it's harder than ever when you have to waste so much time decoding everything.
what ever happened to people having real conversations, about real issues, about real feelings? why has it all be traded for "like w.t.f, she so totally stole my myspace song"?
taking these shortcuts may have seemed convenient at the time, but it's gone so beyond being appropriate, ir is now causing the level of depth in our verbal communication to decrease rapidly. people need to understand that just because a conversation is the easiest form of communication, doesn't mean it is the only one. think of how often you have touched, or have been touched, by someone in a caring way? a hug? a scruff of the hair? even a pat on the shoulder? how about, how often you find yourself sending or recieving messages like "ru ok? *hugs*"? it's shocking to realise that genuine human interaction has been replaced by technological advances. it's only a matter of time before people are having sex via their computers and mobiles. no wait, we have already gotten there. sexting and cybersex would be the disappointing substitute.
talking is great, texting is convenient, and instant messaging is quick. but no wonder people are saying romance and sentiment are dead. because when you think about it, they really are. what happened to passionate, desireable physical moments? were they not replaced with emails saying, "i miss u so much babi!!"? what happened to keeping the reciept from your first date together? has that not been replaced with saving a text message saying, "2nite waz so fun ;)"? it's not healthy that people strive for this virtual affection.
what everybody needs to do is instead of sitting on the couch and saying metaphorically, go out and smell the roses, they need to actually get off their arse, go outside and literally smell the roses. life isn't about telling people what you want, telling people what you think is right and explaining how you feel. it's about doing what you want, doing what you think is right and showing how you feel.

life wishlist.

remember the days when your birthday and christmas wishlist would be so long, it would have been easier to give your mum the whole toy section from the target catalogue, rather than write it down? the days that would relieve you of extreme anticipation which was caused by the mind thinking, am i going to ride my bike or play with tamagochi first? the days when you had both your parents and a jolly old fat man to give you everything your heart desired. the days that (we now realise) have flied past us, leaving our priorities, our wants and needs in our own hands.
at the age of eight, we had a perception of what was a 'hard life'. we thought the bullies would be in our lives 'til death. we thought getting a detention was the most horrific punishment one could experience. and we thought having nothing to do was almost as bad as that detention. we also had the perception of what was an easy life. we thought a band-aid could fix everything. we thought having three boyfriends at once was okay. we thought crying would let us get our way. and we thought absolutely anything was possible. but now, at the age of eighteen, we realise that in the real world - not the fantasy childhood we all once lived in - that everything we thought has now been interchanged. the reality is, bullies are no-hopers, detentions are pointless and having nothing to do is something we all crave on a regular basis. the reality is band-aids don't really fix anything at all, having three boyfriends at once is social suicide, all crying gets you is a headache and most things, are sometimes possible.
these realisations caused questions to emerge.
why is it that the unrealistic issues of a child's life is easily fixed by one man - santa claus - yet, when the realistic issues we face for the rest of our lives cannot be fixed by anyone but ourselves? why can't we have a st. nicholas lifecoach to hand us our wants and needs from his sleigh in late adolescence? and why is it that, even though we don't have that one person to grant us with our heart's desires, we still create that wishlist? of course there is the obvious answer - that being, we can't have one man handing out our wants and needs as we would like because then life would be easy. life would be pointless. but, when you look past that response and start to contemplate if there is a point to life even when you accomplish things on your own, then why can't we all have the best out of life from day one? it's a disappointing thought. yet, to keep our minds whats real and what's not, people everywhere are planning the rest of their lives, sometimes realistically, sometimes fantasy. now, there's an irony, inside an irony.
whether you call it life goals or aspirations for the future, once your real priorities set in and you have to fend for yourself, your wishlist has gone from a nintendo ds, a barbie doll, the new barney dvd and a bunch of lego, to, four key things. success. happiness. love. money. these wishful items seem so simple,when really the are extremely complex. i guess when reminding yourself of your wishlist, you have to realise that, even the magical santa claus can't give you all the toys you want in the one christmas day. thus, you shouldn't be too hard on your non-magical self when those four things aren't all in your life at once.